They’re hip, they’re cool, they’re 45ish

GIVING IT A WHIRL Mark McKinney, right, gets in the game against some locals.

Photo: Matthew Taplinger

For five guys who want to be remembered “at all” in 20 years, the Kids in the Hall sure draw crowds. The heady, quirky geniuses behind the self-titled ’90s sketch show are back on tour after a six-year hiatus, and the buzz is deafening. Before the multicity blitzkrieg concludes June 5 (where it all started: Toronto), they’ll stop in Chicago to perform all-new material Thursday 29. I caught Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald and Mark McKinney in town between gigs, so I decided to have a little Chicago-style fun—dinner, drinks and WhirlyBall, everyone’s favorite bumper cars–meets–jai alai activity.

April 28, 5:58pm “Oh my God, I just saw Dave Foley,” exclaims Mandy, owner of Cooper’s restaurant in Lakeview. The three Kids have arrived—Foley wearing an open flower-print button-down; McDonald in a turtleneck; McKinney slummin’ with his hoodie.
6:03pm Foley apologizes for the absence of a sick Scott Thompson and Bruce McCullough, who flew back to L.A. to see his kids, “Because he’s a pussy.” Small talk has begun.
6:10pm McKinney and McDonald are drawn to the TV, while Foley peruses the menu. They’re oddly Zenlike shooting the shit with one another, and I don’t know how to break in. So small talk continues. Topics include: their use of Hannah Montana’s tour bus; hockey fights; shirtless golfer John Daly.
6:24pm Drinks arrive, and the Kids start reminiscing about the early days—the conflict, for one thing. But McKinney claims everyone’s mellowed out. Adopting his best German professorial accent, he says, “See, conflict exeests on an emotional plane, which is not part of ze creative plane.” We laugh for the umpteenth time.
6:40pm Turns out Mike Myers auditioned for the group way-back-when, before Thompson was cast. Do they remember his performance? Foley does: “It seemed like he was never going anywhere.”
6:54pm How is working together different now? Not very. “When we get excited, I see other people in slow motion, and we’re on a different speed,” McDonald says.
7:15pm The conversation is flowing. A little too well—we’ve covered Canadian censorship laws, Lorne Michaels’s condescension and, of course, dressing in drag. I’m actually almost out of questions, but I soldier on: Do they rewrite live material? They must’ve heard this 100 times; Foley’s answer is essentially “it happens.” Silence ensues…for a while. “We’re not even to the entrée yet,” he adds.
7:16pm Lots of stammering.
7:17pm McKinney returns from the bathroom with Trivial Pursuit. Thanks.
7:32pm “Got any more questions?” McDonald asks between trivia. No, you answered them all. “Ad-lib.” He’s eager. Foley looks on, anticipating; McKinney stares off. He’s wiped.
7:51pm “ ‘I know you hear this 100 times’—that’s the thing I hear the most,” McDonald admits.
7:53pm In their chauffeured van, McDonald and Foley are cracking each other up like boys in the back of the bus, occasionally asking about WhirlyBall—specifically the match I’ve scheduled for them against Hey You Millionaires, a local group named for a line in the first-ever Kids scene. I wonder if someday a group will similarly crib from the Millionaires. “Hopefully they don’t do a scene called ‘Ouch, my cock hurts,’ ” Foley quips. Trash talk has begun.
8:05pm We greet Millionaires members James Asmus, John Bohan, Jim Fath and Steve Gadlin (producer), who try not to stare. A late-teens employee, not starstruck, goes over the rules. Like a true hockey fan, McKinney wants to know the penalties.
8:12pm Game on. Foley takes charge, slamming into the surprised Millionaires and sporting a look equal parts focus and fear. McDonald sweeps the open defensive area; McKinney’s ramming against a wall.
8:13pm McKinney’s spinning.
8:18pm The Millionaires catch a breakaway, with only McDonald waiting. “Where’s my defense?” he roars. Foley comes from behind and slaps Fath’s stick. They’re into it.
8:20pm A collision sends the ball McKinney’s way, and he launches it toward the goal. He’s genuinely frustrated when it sails nowhere near. Thanks largely to tour manager Marnel, the Kids take game one.
8:27pm Foley, McDonald and McKinney are a well-oiled machine come game two. A Millionaires man opens up; a Kids member boxes him out. When the ball’s stolen, the other teammates head down court, awaiting passes. And they yell words of encouragement, or (as McDonald and McKinney do numerous times) they just yell. It’s like the Kids are operating at a different speed. Still, they lose by a goal.
9:15pm We arrive at Rainbo Club for postgame drinking. It’s dead, but I advise them (really just Foley, the Michelangelo of Kids) to give it 20 minutes and the place will be swarming with fans. Sure enough, a few minutes later a girl moseys over to Foley and says, “You look just like one of the guys from Kids in the Hall.” “No,” he retorts, “I look exactly like one.”

The Kids storm the Chicago Theatre’s halls Thursday 29. Jonathan Messinger contributed additional reporting.

Check out exclusive quotes and audio clips from our interview here.