Online gambling

A news segment about yogurt is circulating on the Internet. It starts with a simple line from its reporter, former Chicagoan Sarah Haskins: “Why am I holding all this yogurt? Because I’m a woman. And yogurt is the official food of women.” A poised Haskins smirks: Clearly, this news outlet has a satirical bent.

The segment takes a Yoplait commercial to task for having women qualify taste as “shoe-shopping good” and “cute-best-man good.” “It’s substitute-for-human-experience good,” Haskins interjects. Then a series of women in gray hoodies—sporting that “I have a master’s, but then I got married” look, Haskins observes—talk about nothing but their diets. The whole thing lasts less than three minutes, and the biggest technical aspect involves Haskins dancing over a laxative-yogurt commercial while yelling, “I’m gonna shit my pants!” And yet, it’s the sharpest thing we’ve seen in a while.

Haskins, 29, is responsible for this and other “Target: Women” segments, which air as part of Current.com’s online infoMania news show, a weekly series that attempts to explain all the data thrown at today’s media-savvy generation, such as political spin-speak and the reality dance-show trend. When Haskins’s first segment appeared last March, Salon and Jezebel writers quickly declared their newfound girl-crushes. Then the grassroots campaign began: Blogger Stefan Hayden proclaimed, “Get Sarah Haskins on The Daily Show.” And there were many more plaudits.

In 2001, after graduating from Harvard, Haskins returned to Chicago (she grew up in Old Town) to learn the comedy craft. Two years later, she found herself one day on a Playground Theater incubator team; it happened to be the day Megan Hovde, Ben Johnson, Jordan Klepper, Mark Piebenga, Piero Procaccini and Jeremy Sosenko also chose to audition. Until it disbanded a few years ago, the resulting American Dream was one of the most innovative ensembles in recent years. Even by improv standards, it was very DIY—they met shortly before each show, created a form and then performed it. “We took the Chicago dogma of improv very lightly. When you’re on a blank stage with your friends, why constrain yourself by doing what’s ‘right’?” Haskins says. “There was a real sense of fun, and we could be a little meta.”

It’s not surprising that Haskins, who usually drove the logic in each scene, spent a fair amount of time directing improv and sketch. Before moving to Los Angeles in October 2007, she helmed Hey You Millionaires, BoxCo and the sensational Late Night Late Show.

Thanks to her former next-door-neighbor, she now works full-time as a writer for Current.com. Haskins admits it’s a plum gig: She clocks in, writes comedy and then punches out after 40 hours each week. Still, it’s a job, and it’s taught Haskins a valuable business lesson: Getting ahead means doing so on your own volition. “To get in front of the camera, I had to pitch my own idea for a segment,” she says. “I was watching The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom, and I saw all these yogurt ads. And I knew I wanted to do something about them.”

Each of her six segments criticizes the media for attempting to tell women how to think and what their priorities should be: weddings, feeding your family and Botoxing the life out of your face. In a bridal bit, Haskins strips to a sports bra and workout pants and stands next to a commercial’s self-described (but delusional) “bulging bride,” made slightly bigger by computer simulation. Surprise: Haskins and the supposedly not-ideal figure look the same. “So much of what I’m saying is common sense,” a modest Haskins says. “It’s the way my generation views the media. The larger issue is that we don’t have that kind of media criticism in our society.” That is, until now.

And viewers are responding: The Jezebel piece about her has garnered more than 120 comments. Yet Haskins says she doesn’t read them. “It’s nice, but it feels weird to be the object of scrutiny,” she says. “I don’t have a second thought about it when it happens on stage, but [those ensuing] conversations are private; online they’re in perpetuity.”

Browse current.com for “Target: Women” clips.