Grin reaper

YES WE KEN We’re suckers for Barnard’s tomfoolery.

Photo: Johnny Knight

Ken Barnard may not have much longer to live. When we saw the 26-year-old comedian at Chicago Underground Comedy this spring, he confessed he’d been diagnosed with mustache cancer—and it was spreading. Barnard raised his shirt to reveal mustaches all over his torso. It didn’t look good.

The self-described performance comic melds performance art and stand-up in the vein of Andy Kaufman and Steve Martin, whom he calls his two biggest influences. In one bit, Barnard spills water on himself, then transforms into a merman with shiny fin and green nipples. He performs a choreographed number in which he dances the same move incessantly for six minutes and also plays guitar, sings, puts on puppet shows and does magic. “There’s a lot of performance art that’s out there,” Barnard says. “I always try to make my act funny.”

A funny build helps: Blessed with an impossibly lean and wiry frame, the man stands nearly 6'3" tall—all loose limbs and rubbery features. “Looking different never hurts in comedy,” he says. “I’m awkward in physicality and in interaction, and I promote that heartily. It makes the world a more interesting place.”

Born and raised in Pittsburgh, Barnard told his parents (mom’s an art museum security guard, dad’s a paint salesman) early on that, “I either wanted to be a clown or a priest,” he says. “I feel like I’ve sort of merged the two.” When he was ten, they bought him a copy of Richard Belzer’s How to Be a Stand-Up Comic. He’s been off and running ever since—literally. “If you go back and watch home movies, it looks like I’m on crack. If I had been born today, I would’ve been hopped up on all sorts of pills. But my parents just let me run free and bounce off the walls.”

After attending George Washington University for a couple of semesters, Barnard followed a girlfriend to Chicago at age 20. He began performing at the city’s open-mike nights, Dave Odd shows and, later, the Playground and the now-defunct Lyons Den. Today, he does his stand-up at vaunted rooms like the Lincoln Lodge, Chicago Underground Comedy and the Lakeshore Theater and works in marketing by day. He can also be seen each week at ComedySportz as Beauty Pageant Host, the ridiculously tan MC of Impress These Apes who dons a tuxedo and a shock collar (in case he gets out of line) and constantly smiles as contestants perform outrageous feats. With his Cheshire Cat grin and affected enthusiasm, Barnard steals the show.

As an improviser, Barnard plays regularly with the four-man group the Vagabonds at the Playground Theater. Although untrained (he says he took one iO class and hated it), Barnard appreciates how improv arms him with the tools to riff and go off script when solo. “The closest thing you can do to cartoons comedically is improv,” he says. “It’s an opportunity to be Bugs Bunny and blow someone’s head off and have it be treated like reality.”

Of course, his antics aren’t for everyone. “I doubt I’ll work at Zanies just because I’m outside of the box,” Barnard says. “I like being different and I like being weird. I have to be me.”

Ken Barnard appears October 15 and 16 at the Lincoln Lodge and Wednesdays at Impress These Apes.

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