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• Essential Chicago

Wanna-be essentials

All the marketing power in the world can’t make these true-blue city essentials—yet

• Navy Pier
• Segway tours
• (The new) Soldier Field
• Winter Delights
• Trump Tower
• Import NYC restaurants (SushiSamba, China Grill, IL MULINO, Blue water grill)
• Pritzker Pavilion

Segway tours

Extinct and endangered

Going or gone, these staples defined the city

• Pilgrim Baptist Church
• The Berghoff
• Marshall Field’s
• Fannie May
• DePaul gymnasium
• & Demon Dogs
• The Cotton Club
• The Pump Room
• Ira Glass
• Cabrini-Green

The Berghoff

Top five Chicago-style pizzas

We dish on the deepest, gooeyest pies in the city

• Aurelio’s Pizza (506 W Harrison St, 312-994-2000; various city and suburban locations)
• Pequod’s Pizza (2207 N Clybourn Ave, 773-327-1512 [temporarily closed]; 8520 Fernald Ave, Morton Grove, 847-470-9161)
• Pizzeria Uno/Pizzeria Due (29 E Ohio St, 312-321-1000; 619 N Wabash Ave, 312-943-2400)
• Lou Malnati’s (958 W Wrightwood Ave, 773-832-4030; various city and suburban locations)
• The Art of Pizza (3033 N Ashland Ave, 773-327-5600)

Pizzeria Uno/Pizzeria Due

Local lingo

Word on the street is, you’re not a real Chicagoan until you know your “deeze” from your “doze”

The Cell (n.) U.S. Cellular Field, home of Chicago White Sox base-ball; was once—and for many Chicagoans, forever will be—known as Comiskey Park.

Cooler by the lake (adj.) Stock line used to describe Lake Michigan’s cooling effect; co-opted by marketing folk to peddle everything from real estate to lakefront concerts.

Da Mare, Hizzoner (n.) Mayor Richard M. Daley, a.k.a. “His Honor.”

Deeze, doze (pron., adj. or adv.) Variants of “these” and “those.”

Dusties (n.) Soulful oldies; coined by local radio DJ Herb Kent in 1953.

847 (n.) Suburbanite; specifically someone who lives in the tony North or Northwest suburbs (formerly known as a “708”).

Friendly Confines (n.) Wrigley Field, home of the perpetually defeated baseball team known as the Chicago Cubs.

Frunchroom (n.) The front room, usually contains the “nice” couch, possibly covered in plastic.

Gapers block (n.) A traffic jam caused by the macabre practice of drivers slowing or stopping to get a look at the accident.

Gotah, Gweethee, Gothee (n.) A few of the many local pronunciations for Goethe, the east-west street named after the 18th-century German thinker. (Correct pronunciation: “Ger-tah”)

Italian Beef (n.) Sliced beef that’s stewed its own juices, then stuffed in Italian bread to create a greasy, tasty mess of a sandwich. Ask to have the whole thing dipped, if you dare.

Jag-off, jag bag, jag (n.) An unsavory character; usually a hybrid of an assmunch and a-hole.

Michigan over ice (n.) Tap water served on the rocks.

Pop (n.) A sweet carbonated beverage, also known as soda or soft drink.

Sassage (n.) Any encased meat.

Sammitch (n.) Bread cushioning lunch meats and fixings.

Slashies (n.) Bars/liquor stores.

Trixie, LP trixie (n.) Female Lincoln Park resident, usually former sorority sister, popularized by the closed-for-repairs satirical site www.lptrixie.com; allegedly identifiable by a penchant for VW Jettas, Starbucks coffee and Kate Spade handbags; tends to work in marketing or PR. The Ken to these Barbies are known as Chads. —Martina Sheehan