If we ran the CTA

Wouldn’t it be cool if there were a train line that ran along Western Avenue, so you didn’t have to go into the Loop then back out to get from the South Side to the Northwest Side? And wouldn’t it be awesome if the El had a car solely for bikes, so you could bring your two-wheeler onboard without getting all those hateful scowls? We proposed these enhancements and others to several academics, then to a CTA spokeswoman, to find out if our ideas were inspired or insane. Finally, we ranked the feasibility of each on a scale of 1 (never gonna happen) to 5 (very likely).

1.Make trains and buses run more frequently

Why Because all those hours twiddling our thumbs on the El platform and rubbernecking for a bus—we ain’t getting those back. (And as entertaining as he may be, that break-dancing street performer wrapped in tin foil only amuses for so long.)

Reality check “This is an issue of operating costs,” says Piyushimita Thakuriah of UIC (see “The experts,” this page), before politely telling us to shut our ungrateful mouths. “Chicago is comparable to the frequencies of subway systems of the large cities of the world.” (See “We aren’t the world,” page 20.) But Jacky Grimshaw of the Center for Neighborhood Technology says increasing frequency should be high on the CTA’s list. “Doing a community process in terms of how to prioritize these routes for increased frequency would be the next thing to do,” she says. But the CTA seems pretty happy with the status quo: “CTA’s bus and rail routes are scheduled to run more frequently during rush periods than during non–rush periods,” says spokeswoman Wanda Taylor. “Trains are scheduled to meet customer demand while operating at safe intervals.”

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2.Install electronic signs telling us when the next train will arrive

Why Because other cities have it, and we want it, too. Barcelona’s cool “countdown to next train” signage was part of a transit system built for the 1992 Olympics, so someone get the mayor on the horn and let’s make this part of our 2016 plan.

Reality check It definitely sounds doable, especially considering the CTA recently completed a pilot program with the No. 20 Madison Street bus route (see “Making tracks,” page 22). Plus, CTA buses and trains are already equipped with GPS. “Yes. Everybody’s doing this. It gives some comfort to passengers and it’s easy to do. And, of course, [they should] do it on busier lines first,” says Northwestern University’s Joseph Schofer. Thakuriah says these gizmos could boost revenue as well: “Our research has shown that transit use would likely increase with such systems,” she says. “Existing users might use transit more often due to reductions in uncertainty and wait times, while current car drivers might also consider transit use as the system becomes easier to use.”

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3.Put air fresheners in the El cars and underground stations

Why Because even the bums living in the subway don’t like the smell of their own pee.

Reality check The experts certainly don’t care for the pee-pee smell, but all are in agreement that air fresheners are not the answer. “Some air fresheners are worse than urine,” Jim LaBelle says. And Grimshaw also points out that riders with allergies or respiratory problems might not take kindly to say, a pine mist, no matter how bewitching the scent. While the CTA assures us the cars are cleaned daily, and spot cleaning occurs at the end of each trip, Schofer thinks that might not be enough. “Clean the cars better and more often,” he says. “That applies to the underground passageways and subway stations, too.” Feasibility factor 3

4.Add an express bus lane on streets like Michigan and Western Avenues so we’re not crawling along in the same traffic as cars

Why Do we even need to say it? Because those buses…are…so…damn…slooow.

Reality check Thankfully, a speedy bus—Bus Rapid Transit (BRT), or at least lane priority for buses—seems probable. The CTA did a detailed analysis and looked at both Western and Ashland Avenues as possible BRT and rail routes (the former got nixed; the latter is still a possibility). Schofer says it’s time for the CTA to seriously look at this option: “Other cities have started going for BRT: Los Angeles, Boston, Washington…. Pace is looking at it. But I suspect the CTA may be fixated on rail.” The key to any sort of express-bus solution is the traffic-control signals, Grimshaw says. “If you have stoplights that aren’t synchronized, it’s going to screw it up for everybody. Modern BRT service could be done quicker and at less cost.”

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5.Use electric or hybrid buses and create more green initiatives

Why Haven’t you seen that Al Gore movie? 

Reality check There’s little doubt this is going to happen—in fact, it already has. Just a few weeks ago, the CTA introduced the first of 20 hybrid test buses. Other ongoing environmentally sound initiatives include a switch to cleaner-burning ultralow-sulfur diesel fuel in 2003 and new buses with low-emissions engines. But our experts caution that rushing into hybrids might not be the smartest move for the city. “We want to wait until the technology is cheap enough. And as the buses rotate out and the technology is better, you get the cleanest fuel at the best price,” Grimshaw says.

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6.Put in overhead straps or handrails on the train car’s ceiling

Why So we have something to grasp onto for dear life in the middle of a crowded train (other than that dude next to us, who obviously didn’t brush his teeth this morning).

Reality check “Might be a solution for new railcar purchases and not for retrofitting existing services,” Thakuriah says. And with an approved contract for at least 400 new rail cars—complete with overhead straps—already earmarked in the CTA’s 2007 budget, this year could be our best shot. But as Schofer reminds us, overhead straps aren’t necessarily ideal for the vertically challenged: “Please do not forget short people. In designing cars, we need to consider people of all shapes and sizes.” 

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7.Create an El line that runs along a West Side thoroughfare, say Western or Cicero Avenue

Why There are too many gaps in El service along the West Side, and bus travel from one end of the city to the other takes forever. Is it too much to ask for an El train to take us from the South Side to the Northwest Side without going into the Loop?

Reality check Apparently, the answer is, Yes, it is too much to ask—building the new infrastructure would be just too damn expensive. “This is a better neighborhood idea than the Circle Line (see page 22), but the reality is that new rail lines are horribly expensive,” Schofer says, noting the eminent domain costs would be astronomical. “And the ridership will never justify them in objective terms.” LaBelle agrees: “An El line would be nice, but expensive.” CTA spokeswoman Taylor gives the final kibosh: “The Circle Line is designed to do just that, provide neighborhood connections without having to travel to the Loop to make connections.” 

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8.Build bus shelters at every stop

Why We all know waiting at the bus stop sucks. But waiting in the rain and the snow without any protection from the elements? That makes us seriously consider diving in front of the next bus (if it ever gets here).

Reality check “Absolutely,” LaBelle says. “People should not have to risk their lives or health to ride the bus.” But the CTA can’t be blamed for the shelter shortage. The city is responsible for those, and they keep the booty from those ads you’re staring at. But where there’s money to be made, there’s a way; so count on more ad-heavy outdoor shelters coming to a corner near you.

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9.Make the underground El stops look nicer

Why A lot of stations (i.e., North/Clybourn) resemble Bulgaria, circa 1973.

Reality check “Bulgaria in 1973 had more money for public transit,” Schofer jokes. “The CTA is gradually rehabbing stations. This cannot be done all at once. But a systematic program seems desirable, and I think it is in motion.” The experts agree CTA’s many dilapidated stations will be whipped into shape in due time. “The total estimated cost of the Chicago and State Red Line stop [renovation was] $23 million,” Thakuriah says. “Although all improvements do not have to be so fancy, again, it is a matter of finding and prioritizing funds.”

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10.Hire more security guards for trains, buses and El stations

Why Because we can never, ever forget the time we had to sidestep that genteel chap defecating on the stairs.

Reality check The experts agree alleviating security concerns would be a positive for the CTA, but are quick to point out crime is not just a CTA issue. Having security guards “would give comfort to other riders, maybe attract some more,” Schofer says. For its part, the CTA says it’s on the case: “CTA works with the Chicago Police Department’s public transportation section and a private security firm to provide security on CTA buses and trains and at train stations,” Taylor says. “CTA also works with the city’s Department of Human Services to provide assistance to anyone who needs shelter, as seeking shelter in rail stations is not a humane condition for anyone.” And we have seen the K-9s sniffing out possible terrorist threats on random platforms, so that also adds a sense of wellbeing. The bottom line comes from Grimshaw, who suggests if you don’t like it, remember no one’s forcing you to stay here. “I think at some point, you’re living in the damn city, you have to know how to be safe.”

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11.Designate El cars for bikes only, fitted with bike racks and fewer seats

Why We’re supposed to be a green city, but there are strict limitations for bikes on El trains: only two bikes per car, and no bikes during rush hour. What gives?

Reality check “Designated El cars that are customized for bikes seem to be an expensive proposition. Each car could have some bike priority areas that have folding seats to make room for bikes, but still follow the two-bike-per-car policy,” Thakuriah says. Others agree there are ways to make the system more bike-friendly without a bike-only cattle car. “I don’t think you need a whole car devoted to bikes. As cars get rehabbed, put in some bike hooks and [folding] jump seats,” Grimshaw recommends.

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12.Offer water taxis that travel along the lake and river

Why Lake Michigan and the Chicago River are just sitting there.

Reality check Sure, a few outfits operate limited services along the river that cater mostly to tourists. But we want something more expansive. One expert believes there’s some potential: “[Water taxi service] can be expanded to serve commuting trips to take a load off the arterial network,” LaBelle says. But it doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards. “It’s something that was highly needed during the time of the Wacker Drive reconstruction, but now I think it’s for tourists,” Grimshaw says.

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13.Install air conditioning and heat at all underground subway stops, depending on the weather

Why Dripping with sweat or freezing our asses off is no way to begin or end the workday.

Reality check Probably ain’t happening, Schofer says: “Not cost-effective until global warming really hits. The underground stations are pretty well protected from the extremes of weather. It’s much more important to heat the surface- and elevated-platform waiting areas.” Others are a bit keener on the higher-tech atmospherics. “When coupled together with overall station-renovation plans, [it’s] a very good idea and sure to increase customer loyalty,” Thakuriah says.

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14.Install trash receptacles on the train and on buses

Why People might be less likely to toss that half-eaten Big Mac on the floor—which means we’re less likely to get Special Sauce on our new kicks.

Reality check “ CTA’s New Flyer buses are equipped with trash receptacles, and as older buses are replaced, more containing trash receptacles will be incorporated into the fleet,” Taylor says. No word from the CTA, however, on whether it plans to add garbage bins to rail cars. Thakuriah offers one possible reason: “Trash receptacles are a relatively inexpensive and doable solution, but could be a potential source of a security hazard,” she says. Also, lest we forget, it is illegal to eat or drink while riding the CTA. But Grimshaw notes that’s often ignored: “Unless you have an enforcement mechanism, which we don’t, I would rather have the receptacle to get rid of the stuff,” she says.

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15.Make the Brown Line 24 hours

Why Last-shifters and late-night partyers need to get home, too.

Reality check The Brown Line operates nearly 24 hours—22 5/12 to be exact, from 4am to 2:25am the following morning on weekdays. Thakuriah thinks that’s probably as good as it’s going to get. “Knowing that many express bus and owl [late-night] services are serious priorities for accessing jobs, this [24-hour Brown Line] might face serious competition,” she says. LaBelle is more direct: “It will cost money the CTA does not have at the moment.”

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16.Put in train doors that only open when people push them

Why So you don’t sit there, with subarctic air blowing on you, when it’s 40 below.

Reality check “The doors don’t stay open that long,” Grimshaw says. “I don’t see that as a big issue. We’re not going to retrofit cars…that’s an expense we don’t need to take on.” Another expert says that while an unlikely improvement, it is at least worth considering. “I am not aware of any U.S. train system that does this,” Schofer says. “But we see this—or used to see it—on rear doors of buses. It would save on A/C costs in summer, too.” Feasibility factor 2

17.Install overhead shelves for luggage on trains

Why So we don’t have to hog two seats with our 36-inch Samsonite on the way to O’Hare or Midway.

Reality check “These days security is an issue. I do not see retrofitting to this arrangement,” Schofer says. Other experts have more practical concerns. “I don’t think we have clearance. It would have to be so low that if you were over five-foot-ten, you’d be cracking your head,” Grimshaw says. “If we get our handicapped and our bike spaces, then we can put our luggage there [when those seats are not in use].”

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18.Sell space at El stations to better restaurants and more sensible businesses like newsstands

Why Give us a place to pick up a healthy breakfast, and maybe somewhere to drop off our dry cleaning on the way to work, and we’ll gladly wait another ten minutes for a train.

Reality check It can happen, “but the CTA needs a more aggressive transit-oriented development policy,” Grimshaw says. “CTA ridership should make known what would make their experience better. Have a bidding process, a RFP [request for proposals] type thing, make it competitive.” Schofer says this is more of a private-business issue: “If the market supports these, they should come on their own in the neighborhoods.”

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19.Get rid of those germ-ridden furry seats on buses and rains and install easy-to-clean seat covers

Why Because we don’t want to catch Ebola or any weird viruses on the way home from work.

Reality check “How about hard plastic? They’re easy to clean. The CTA will—and should—do the cheapest thing,” Schofer says. Another expert offers advice any mother would love: “I didn’t even know it was an issue,” Grimshaw says. “That’s why you wash your hands before you put ’em in your mouth.”

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20.Put hand-sanitizer dispensers in trains and on buses

Why Because we’re germaphobes.

Reality check The experts agree that this was our most boneheaded suggestion. “I just see little kids with something else to play with—and then there’s hand sanitizer all over the floor,” Grimshaw says. “Grow up. Wash your hands when you get home,” Schofer says. And finally, from Thakuriah: “A really useless idea.” Okay, geez. Sorry.

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