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Comedy
Surely, you jest
“Two guys were best friends, and they married their high-school sweethearts on the same day. One day, they’re sitting around talking about their upcoming 50th wedding anniversary and one guy says, ‘Hey, what are you getting your wife?’ The other guy says, ‘A fur coat and a Mercedes-Benz. I figure if she doesn’t like the coat, she might like the car. What are you getting your wife?’ The first guy thinks for a moment and says, ‘Flip-flops and a dildo. I figure if she doesn’t like the flip-flops, she can go screw herself.’ ”—Zeb
“A bum walks up to a fat lady and says, ‘Ma’am, I haven’t had anything to eat in three days.’ The lady looks at him and says, ‘Oh, I wish I had your willpower.’ ”—Raoul
“There’s a bear and a rabbit pooping out in the woods. The bear leans over and says, ‘Hey, do you have a problem with shit getting stuck in your fur?’ The rabbit thinks about it then says, ‘No, I sure don’t,’ so the bear reaches over and wipes himself with the rabbit.”—Joe
“Yo mama is so big, the whole world is her stomach.”—Asia and Jasmine
“A blond and a brunette are having coffee together. The blond says, ‘Why is it that every time I sip my coffee, my eyes hurt?’ The brunette says, ‘Maybe you should take the spoon out.’ ”—Jessica
Time Out Chicago / Issue 136 : Oct 4–10, 2007
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