Sein of the times

After Seinfeld went off the air in 1998, Jerry Seinfeld could’ve sleepwalked through Hollywood cameos. Instead, he scrapped all his stand-up material and started anew; Seinfeld, it seemed, wasn’t going to milk that cash cow. But now he’s written a CGI flick (not that there’s anything wrong with that). In the DreamWorks-animated Bee Movie, Seinfeld voices Barry B. Benson, a recent college grad (and, um, bee) who’s apprehensive about entering the family business—making honey. We sat down with the man and, yada, yada, yada, he’s more than a little envious of Will Ferrell.

When Seinfeld ended, you were praised for not going into movies and instead focusing on stand-up. But now you’re doing a movie. Why?
Only because I thought this would be an interesting combination of things: my point of view and this kind of CGI technology, which I find so cool to look at. It wasn’t my idea, it was Steven Spielberg’s. I would not have gone to anyone and said, “I want to make this movie.” I like to go to movies, I don’t want to be in movies. If you go to a bad movie, it’s two hours. If you’re in a bad movie, it’s two years.

Forbes reported that your salary last year was the second highest in the TV industry. So how much money do you have in your wallet right now?
[Pauses, pats his pants] You know, when you’re really rich, you have no money. You’re just over it. I have zero. I assume whatever I want, people will give it to me. No, I’m just kidding. My wallet is in my backpack, but I probably have only [shrugs] $150 in it.

You were in a 30 Rock episode this season where Tina Fey made fun of your mannerisms. Are you like Christopher Walken now—okay with self-parody?
Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me. If [Fey] thinks it’s funny, that’s good enough for me.

I took a stand-up comedy class recently, and the teacher said that you do observational humor really well, but when other people copy it poorly, you get blamed.
I don’t think I’ve been blamed. But you really made my day with that.

You don’t think people appreciate your humor?
No, they appreciate it, but very few people really think about it or look at “What is this guy doing that’s different from what this other guy is doing?” As a comedian in the ’80s, I had the airplane jokes, but I always tried to find something different, or do it a little better. I tried to put a little more into it. It’s just nice to be appreciated.

Comedians talk about getting their material from watching people. Is that harder for you now, since you’re the one being watched?
I’m not. I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they’re doing. People don’t look at me. They don’t even know I’m there. Do you look at every single person on the street and see if you recognize them? No, you just walk down the street. I blend in with everyone, and I go everywhere.

When you donated the puffy Seinfeld shirt to the Smithsonian, you said, “This is the most embarrassing moment of my life.” Any others?
I was just being funny. I was embarrassed for them that they considered it to be an important piece of Americana. It’s all so embarrassing. Show business is really the embarrassment business. What you’re saying is, “I am willing to embarrass myself now to make a living.” When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself. I wish I could achieve levels of Will Ferrell, who is a Zen master of embarrassment. Did you ever see that Conan when he went on in a green thong to promote Elf? That’s a master class. That’s like genius level.

What’s on your TiVo at home?
Mad Men, 60 Minutes.

Do you watch TV with your kids?
Yeah, we went through a Tom and Jerry phase, Pink Panther, whatever is on Boomerang. We don’t let them watch a lot of TV so [when they do] they’ll watch anything. I try to get them into baseball; I make them watch a lot.

In an interview with stand-up comic Mike Birbiglia, he used the exact wording of one of his jokes to answer a question. Do you find yourself doing that as well?
Yeah, that’s what we do. I did it today in a presentation. [Comedians] don’t have anything else. No one is interested in our opinions. People want to hear the jokes.

Bee Movie beelines to theaters Friday 2.