Believe it or not

TUNING UP A therapist at Silken Tent preps for the “singing bowl” treatment.

A major spa skeptic, Books editor Jonathan Messinger says he “doesn’t believe in untested treatments that pretend to have medical validity.” And then there’s freelancer Tricia Parker, who hasn’t met a chakra healer she didn’t like. In the spirit of healthy debate, Messinger and Parker checked out some of Chicago’s more unusual treatments: colorpuncture at Equilibrium ($85), in which colored lights are shined on the skin to transmit energy; intuitive exploration at Ruby Room ($65), a mix of card and aura reading via camera and computer imaging; and singing bowl massage at Silken Tent (pictured, $150), a massage in which the therapist bangs a quartz bowl, which acts as a sort of tuning fork for vibrational healing. After their treatments, Messinger and Parker had the following argument about chakras, auras and, for some reason, Atlantis.

Jonathan Messinger: What did you think of colorpuncture?

Tricia Parker: I thought it was pretty intense, if not a little freaky. You?

JM: The people there were really nice, but I had a hard time believing in it.

TP: I know what you mean, but let me tell you that I walked in there feeling like a total wreck, and walked out feeling sort of like a human being again.

JM: My first impression was that colorpuncture sounded like satire.

TP: Yeah, I know it sounds a little hokey, but I had some weird shit happen to me during the treatment.

JM: Like what?

TP: Like streaming memories of ex-boyfriends I hadn’t thought of in years. It felt like the air was being let out of my subconscious a little.

JM: I was told I had a traumatic childhood, which was news to me, and that I stored my fear in my lymph nodes—also news. I’m glad it worked for you. What about the Ruby Room intuitive exploration?

TP: I thought it was awesome. Again, it came at a time when I really needed someone to sort my shit out. And Phillip did the job. Who’d you have?

JM:Her name was Laryl.

TP: I think Phillip picked up on a lot of stuff. And I don’t mean to sound all, well, naive here, but I got lots of shivers down my back as he was laying the cards.

JM: Cool. What about the aura laptop, where a camera and computer somehow create a picture of your “energy field”?

TP: That was great. It told me that my aura needs a hell of a lot of work. Lots of holes and stuff, which Phillip pointed out.

JM: My aura was bright. Strong. But all of the “science” talk throws me. I’d like the colorpuncturist or aura analyst to say, “This is weird. Roll with it,” rather than, “There’s fear in your lymph nodes! We’re all electric!” or whatever. I might have been put off a bit, though, because I spotted a book in the store called How to Spot a Bastard by His Star Sign.

TP: Oh, I have that book. And I think it would be his “sun” sign. Let me guess, Capricorn?

JM: I’m a Libra. I’m all about balance, objectivity. Which is why my skepticism is like a blade upon which all pseudoscience falls. I actually just got back from Silken Tent for the singing bowl massage. Which, I understand, is your favorite thing in the world.

TP: Pretty much, besides my cat. The first time she rang the bowl, my hands felt like they were stuck in an electric socket—in a totally good way, of course.

JM: I thought it was great, but I wasn’t wholly convinced by the singing bowl.

TP: You must have some caveman blood in your or something. Are you kidding? I totally felt it. Sometimes it was so intense, I wanted to roll off the table. But I sucked it up.

JM: When she was “working my chakras,” and banging it consistently, the droning zoned me out, and I had a weird daydream about a medieval battle atop a volcano. Did that happen to you?

TP: Nope. I liked the chakra work. I felt like she was pushing all the junk out from top to bottom.

JM: So if you had to rank your experiences?

TP: Damn, that’s tough. But here goes: 1. intuitive exploration, 2. singing bowl massage, 3. colorpuncture. But I just want to say that I’m not knocking colorpuncture. I feel bad knocking it.

JM: Sure, I feel bad, too. Because they were so nice. But come on. Fear in the lymph nodes? Balance your blues and yellows?

TP: I dunno, I suppose that stuff’s been around a while. Think Atlantis.

JM: But, uh, Atlantis didn’t exist.

TP: Jury’s still out…. But anyway, I’d have to say that on a spiritual level, the intuitive exploration helped the most. I felt the most progression from start to finish.

JM: Fair enough. Maybe you needed it more. My aura was dynamite. That’s scientific fact!