It happened to me

My apartment was burgled

Arriving home to find the window on my back door shattered, I started out strong by calling 911 and knowing my address (apparently, a lot of people jack that part up…somehow). Unfortunately, while waiting for the police to arrive, a decade of Law & Order viewing failed me as I cleaned up the broken glass near the door (to protect my cat’s pretty paws) and then closed the door with my hand. The frustrated officers assigned to my now-defunct crime scene rolled their eyes at this, but the truly scornful looks were levied by the cop who took my statement. Not only did my cluttered housekeeping mask most of the ransacking, but I couldn’t give details on the one item that seemed to be missing, my grandmother’s antique necklace (“How long was it? Um, neck-length?”). Lessons learned: Getting burgled straight-up sucks, but keep your hands off the crime scene, have renter’s insurance and maintain solid records of your valuables (and possibly get a maid) to avoid looking like an ass.

—Angela Barnaby