Oh, Joy

Photo: Yolanda Perez; Photo Illustration: Jamie Divecchio Ramsay

Aside from Barbara Walters, Joy Behar has been the only cohost to remain with The View since its 1997 premiere. Before her stand-up in Aurora, we chatted by phone, while ABC’s publicist listened in.

Time Out Chicago: First things first: Sarah Palin.
Joy Behar: It’s a panic pick, but what are they gonna do? They’re lacking in policy and charisma. You gotta have one or the other. So they dragged her out from her moose hunting to, as they say, “energize the base”—like the base has been in a coma: Now let’s energize them.

TOC: Did you see McCain’s convention speech? They did look comatose.
Joy Behar: They’re very comatose when McCain is speaking. I fell asleep. Palin’s a real babe and a force to be reckoned with, it’s true, but they’re keeping her away from the press. I say, pardon my French, “Don’t fuck with the press.” When people heckle me, I have the microphone. And the press has the microphone.

TOC: What do hecklers say to you?
Joy Behar: I started bashing Bush, and some guy yelled out, “Stick to the jokes!”

TOC: I thought Bush was the joke.
Joy Behar: [Laughs] That’s a good one. I should say that. And I just was merciless towards him for the rest of the night.

TOC: When the Republicans lose this election, Palin would make a great cohost on The View: She’s really opinionated, the camera likes her.
Joy Behar: That’s true. Elisabeth Hasselbeck could run for vice president. They’re equally qualified. Hasselbeck was on Survivor. Running Alaska or eating insects: Which really carries more weight?

TOC: What will you ask Palin if she comes on the show?
Joy Behar: People don’t understand that she is an evangelical creationist. She believes Iraq is the will of God and we evolved from Ronald Reagan. [Off the phone] Hey, write that down, Steve.

TOC: Who’s Steve?
Joy Behar: My spousal equivalent.

TOC: Is it fair to have just one token conservative like Hasselbeck?
Joy Behar: I don’t think that was the plan. I’ll use the word loosely: It has evolved to this point.

TOC: Do you and Hasselbeck ever take off the gloves off-camera?
Joy Behar: No. I don’t have any interest in changing her mind. I want her to stay where she is so we can have a healthy debate.

TOC: And good ratings.
And good ratings.

TOC: Rosie O’Donnell, Star Jones—if you had to take one of them back on the show, which would it be?
Joy Behar: [Publicist: “Next question.” Behar laughs.] No, I can answer the question: Rosie. She’s very entertaining, and she brings the ratings up big time.

TOC: A Boston Globe article said you’re “more acidic” in your stand-up.
Joy Behar: More what? Acidic? Not Hasidic?

TOC: You’re “a little more political and a lot more profane,” it said.
Joy Behar: That’s probably true. My act is bluer, more pointed, a more New York version of me than you see on television.

TOC: Wow. More New York.
Joy Behar: [Laughs] It’s the New York where I grew up, not the New York filled with tourists.

TOC: You asked Obama if he could withstand the Republican attack machine. Has he?
Joy Behar: He said he would do it by responding immediately, and he’s done that. Biden is the attack dog, and the same with Palin. Now they have their pit bull.

TOC: Pit bull with lipstick.
Joy Behar: Pit bull with lipstick. And Biden is a pit bull with hair plugs.

TOC: Why are the Republicans so much better than the Dems at attacking?
Joy Behar: Because they’re meaner. Let’s tell the truth here. The Republicans do not have feeling for people who are in bad shape. They do not give a shit. And the Democrats do give a damn to a larger extent. Republicans—all you have to say is “tax cut,” and they’re aroused.

TOC: Kathie Lee Gifford called you a bitch; Star Jones, when she phoned in recently, said the same. You don’t seem like a bitch to me.
Joy Behar: I’m not. Karl, am I a bitch? [Publicist: “No. Not at all.”] Not that he’d say I was. I can be snotty, but I don’t think I’m a bitch. [Publicist: “On the show, you guys throw it around like a term of endearment.”] Yeah, we own the word bitch.

TOC: Beeyatch, then.
Joy Behar: Yeah, okay—beeyatch. But Kathie was teasing; I didn’t take it seriously. I don’t know about Star that day.

TOC: She kinda slipped it in there, right? You almost didn’t hear it.
Joy Behar: Yeah, but we heard it. [Laughs]

Behar plays the Paramount Theatre Saturday 20.