Heard on the street

I was tripping the night fandango on Claritin.

There is no socialism when it comes to my drugs.

Sometimes you gotta get all erudite on a brother’s ass.

You have a porn ringtone.

But you have to like the Beatles.

Can you ethnically convert? Will the Italians let me in?

The last American frontier is the ghetto.

You don’t need to have balls to be a dick.

I love the Hard Rock!

She started rubbing my head after I said, “Take me to the ’hood, I’m through with this place.”

“I’m gonna do an Irish jig.” “Is that a euphemism for something?”

I’m dead inside. I feel nothing.

Banana bread? What the fuck? I didn’t know about that.

There’s a minimum attractiveness requirement for our friendship.

How about we show up at your apartment with beer and a dance mix?

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