Heard on the street

I think I peaked last year.

We have a lot of friggin’ couscous.

I should’ve worn real socks. It’s my own fault.

In January 2008, his boss got whacked, so he got the job.

We didn’t even have a Wal-Mart. We only had Wearmart.

Napoleon Dynamite was pretty accurate.

Have fun brushing your teeth.

I OD’d on this crappy day.

You know what a man do? Only what you tell him.

That’s like telling Hitler to make up with the Jews.

I’d fuck your mittens.

Smells like incense and Pledge.

I would have a complete anxiety attack without a working TV.

Yeah, he said he’s got anal bugs—literally.

I always feel enlightened after a bowel movement.

Are ya Kegelin’?

He’s got maternal instinct, but his mams only come out at night.

I treat myself enough already—mostly with substances.

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