Lingerie Football League

WHAT Lingerie Football League’s Chicago Bliss season opener
WHEN Sept 4, tailgating starts at 3pm
WHERE Sears Centre Arena, 5333 Prairie Stone Pkwy, Hoffman Estates (800-745-3000, ticketmaster.com)

A bronze-skinned blond in a pink tank top wraps her arms around a scantily clad brunet. They push their bodies together until they crumple to the ground, erupting in giggles. Sound like a fantasy? Well, it’s that, but it’s also two professional football players working on tackling drills during a July practice. The Lingerie Football League—replete with ten national teams who play seven-on-seven tackle football—holds its first round of games in September, when the Chicago Bliss faces off against the Miami Caliente. But, with two months of practices to go, it looks less like a football team and more like a Playboy photo shoot: Primped hair and black eyeliner abound.

“From what I gather, it’s the lingerie that attracted them,” says head coach Keith Hac while a sea of women behind us lackadaisically stretches and discusses the merits of “sexy” athletic shorts. “Never in a million years did I think I’d be doing this, but it’s been refreshing,” Hac says. “They’re really conditioned and they want to learn. Other players I’ve coached think they know it all.” One slight obstacle: Hac—also the coach of Chicago Slaughter arena football—says he has yet to teach the ladies football, a word he emphasizes with a manly grumble.

Soon after our chat, Hac kicks off the practice, and the ladies line up in a mesmerizing grid of stretches and lunges. But after the grand show of flexibility, the drills—what Hac calls “the same stuff as the arena team, without the speed or intensity”—follow clumsily. On one side of the stadium, girls practice offensive drills: Lean abs peek through short tank tops, tight shorts reveal ethereally round bottoms, and every football catch is punctuated by what seems to be a force-of-habit chest thrust. On the other side of the field, girls are learning to shirk a holding call, which ends up looking pornographic: A player in a pink sports bra and short shorts reaches for a player’s shoulder pads, hands flying toward her ample bosom.

The defensive player breaks to discuss the Bobbi Brown lipgloss that’s stuffed in her bra, “just for practice.” I’m transfixed, and alas, beyond quarterback sneaks and end runs, that is what Lingerie Football League is all about.

NEXT>>

Check out the other sections in our 2009 Fall Preview:

RESTAURANTS & BARS | THE GET | AROUND TOWN | ART | BOOKS | CLUBS | COMEDY | DANCE | FILM | GAY & LESBIAN | KIDS | MUSIC | OPERA & CLASSICAL | THEATER