11:18am
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White Palace Grill (1159 S Canal St, 312-939-7167) The waitress calls you doll, hun or honey. You’ll let her call you whatever she wants if it means getting some of the—hands down—best diner food in town. A scoop of soft butter and warm syrup transforms a stack of plain pancakes, and they’re flanked by the city’s only diner bacon worth its fat.
THE TAB 3 pancakes + 2 eggs + 3 strips bacon = $5.99 COFFEE $1.25
Melrose (3233 N Broadway, 773-327-2060) The 2x2 (pancakes and eggs) isn’t much of a bargain, but there’s a reason Melrose charges a few bucks for a side of bacon: it’s porky without being overly salty. Pancakes, on the other hand, are a nightmare: spongy, heavy and crusty on the bottom.
THE TAB 2 pancakes + 2 eggs + 4 strips bacon = $11.20 COFFEE $1.89
Golden Nugget Pancake House (4229 W Irving Park Rd, 773-777-7107) These waitresses serve up pancakes slightly fluffier than the competition and some fatty, juicy, delicious bacon. And even though the Nugget is a chain, these ladies work the room as if it were a small-town diner.
THE TAB 2 pancakes + 2 eggs + 2 strips bacon = $7.29 COFFEE $1.99
Golden Apple Grill & Breakfast House (2971 N Lincoln Ave, 773-528-1413) You’ll forgive the more-watery-than-most coffee and the too-runny eggs, because the waitress will wink knowingly at you as she sets down your plate—and a massive amount of whipped butter with your short stack.
THE TAB 2 pancakes + 2 eggs + 2 strips bacon + 2 sausage links = $6.95 COFFEE $1.75
Cozy Corner Diner & Pancake House (2294 N Milwaukee Ave, 773-276-2215) Decent bacon and pancakes aren’t going to make this place stand out, but incredible service will: The ladies here call you honey, plop down a newspaper at your table, assiduously refill your coffee and hand you a Blow Pop on your way out the door to work.
THE TAB 2 pancakes + 2 eggs + 2 strips bacon = $3.49 Mon–Fri 5–9am COFFEE $1.79
The New Archview Restaurant (3480 S Archer Ave, 773-254-4862) So there’s a policewoman, a passed-out man and a handful of gum-cracking waitresses. This is not a setup for a joke; it’s the early-morning scene at this McKinley Park restaurant, which serves average coffee, flimsy bacon and unremarkable pancakes—but for a pretty unbelievable price.
THE TAB 2 pancakes + 2 eggs + 2 strips bacon = $3.99 Mon–Fri 6–10am COFFEE 49 cents
Mellow Yellow (1508 E 53rd St, 773-667-2000) You can’t find a cheaper 2-2-2-2 deal in the city, but that doesn’t necessarily make this breakfast a value: The bacon was swimming in grease and the mushy pancakes were a letdown. But where it really gets you is with the coffee: That’s some weak, burned Intelligentsia they’re brewing.
THE TAB 2 pancakes + 2 eggs + 2 strips bacon + 2 sausage links = $2.99 Mon–Fri 8–11am COFFEE $1.99
Beef ’n Brandy Restaurant and Bar (127 S State St, 312-372-3451) Deduct points for the packaged butter and syrup, and you’re still left with a plate of flabby but well-seasoned bacon and something extra you never knew you wanted: a hunk of pineapple.
THE TAB 2 pancakes + 2 eggs + 2 strips bacon + 2 sausage links = $8.75 COFFEE $1.85
Diner Grill (1635 W Irving Park Rd, 773-248-2030) What this tiny, narrow spot offers in old-school ambience it lacks in taste. Think runny whites on over-medium eggs and dry, burned bacon. But the coffee’s a little stronger than most, and the regular clientele’s as fascinating as it is crass.
THE TAB 2 pancakes + 2 eggs + 3 strips bacon = $9.75 COFFEE $1.40
The New Archview is in Mckinley Park not Chinatown. I have no idea why it is even included here (unless it is to establish a baseline). There are hundreds (if not thousands) of restaurants just like it in Chicago, and most of them are better eamples. Even in that neighborhood there is Huck Finn's right down the street, and Kevin's Hamburger Heaven around the corner on Western, or there is Don's further north on Western, which more closely qualifies as a "greasy spoon" diner.
Chinese people live in chinatown, right? Last I checked, the Archview is surrounded by MEXICANS. In McKinley Park. Being almost THREE MILES from Chinatown does not make it a chinatown restaurant.