Cheap
Cheap tricks: For your self
Enjoy a massage, gorge on chocolates or take a cruise on a discount bike without breaking the bank.
By Rod O’Connor
Stuff your face with high-end chocolates Fancy chocolatier Vosges Haut-Chocolatoffers 16 tasty truffles, in a Chinese food take-out box, for just $16. The catch? They’re a bit roughed up—maybe a dent here, a missing macadamia nut there. Unfortunately, only a few batches are available each week (stores must wait until they find 16 blemished beauties, not an easy task considering the anal-retentive artisans at Vosges), so call ahead and ask if there are any “Not-So-Perfects.” •520 N Michigan Ave, 312-644-9450 •951 W Armitage Ave, 773-296-9866, vosgeschocolate.com
Get a wheel dealEvery summer you’re stuck in park while the beautiful people pedal along the lakefront. Not this year, if you head to A Nearly New Shop. Easygoing shop owner Ron Ashley has a large stock of immaculately maintained, absurdly cheap used bikes—last time we were there, he had some sweet chrome cruisers and pristine Peugots. He’ll find a bike that fits you, and he’ll likely throw some gratis repair work your way. Why? That’s just how he rolls. 3826 N Broadway, 773-525-0692 
Specs from Eyeglass Direct
Get framedLet’s face it, the outrageously high cost of eyeglasses is one of the biggest scams of modern society. While the idea of ordering glasses over the Internet might sound scary, plenty of bloggers praise sites that sell specs for a fraction of the cost, such as Goggles 4U (goggles4u.com)and Eyeglass Direct (eyeglassdirect.com, where we got the glasses pictured here for a mere $28, lenses included). The former will even give you a 15 percent repeat-buyer discount. glassyeyes.blogspot.com
Get worked overChicago Touch is dedicated to bringing the healing arts to the city’s underpaid and overworked masses. (That’s you.) The key is a pricing system that rewards those who make advance appointments—call at least a day ahead and a 50-minute massage is just $45 compared to $75 for walk-ins. Prepay for ten massages and the cost goes down to $36. The idea is that low prices on prebooked services will increase volume. Let’s hope that business model is working, ’cause we’re getting used to stress reduction at these prices. 1121 N Ashland Ave, 773-342-3650, chicagotouch.org
Score some face timeNo need to worry about soon-to-be beauty-school dropouts experimenting on your precious puss when you show up for a facial at the Aveda Institute Chicago. All of the students are experienced enough to administer beauty treatments comparable to those offered at the city’s best spas, at a substantial discount. Try the Elemental Nature Facial, an hour and a half of relaxation (including a skin-care consultation) for just $40. 2828 N Clark St, 773-883-1560, avedainstitutechicago.com
Pawn off your poochWith Chicago Dog Walkers, your pup gets a new friend—the service typically provides one walker rather than a new face every time—and you’ll save some scratch for more kibble. At $11 ($10 for rescued dogs) for a 25-minute walk (one dog), its rates are the best in town. And they’re good: Chicago Dog Walkers was named “Best Dog-Walking Service” by readers of local pub Chicagoland Tails five years running. 773-394-9961, chicago-dogwalkers.com
Bone up on queer historyThe gay and lesbian–focused Gerber/Hart Library’s free monthly Young Scholars series features smarty-pants doctoral students discussing topics like “Race and Homosexuality on the South Side” and “Towards a Kinky Museum,” a discussion of Chicago’s Leather Archives and Museum. Chaps not required. 1127 W Granville Ave, 773-381-8030, gerberhart.org