Have a ball (then throw it)

LET ’ER RIP It’s all fun and games—for grown-ups.

Photo: Marina Makropoulos

The Wicker Park High Tea and Dodgeball Association
Call it revenge of the nerds. The shaggy twentysomethings who meet in the parking lot of a Ukie V. bank to play dodgeball admit to having dreaded the game in gym class, where they served as sitting ducks for dominant jocks. “There are only maybe one or two of us who are truly athletic,” says Chris Dyrkacz, who’s been chucking and ducking in the lot since 2004, when a group of kickballers got bored and began heaving the orbs at each other. But the slacker twists don’t kill the competitive spirit. As the battles rage on into the early morning hours, the only things heaved more forcefully than rubber balls are expletive-laced barbs—and those can sting more than a shot to the face.
Ball up Thursdays at 10:30pm; for the address and more info, contact thedodgeballking@gmail.com. Free.

DePaul Dodgeball
We’re guessing social-justice champion St. Vincent would’ve frowned upon the impish eye-for-an-eye attitude of DePaul University’s student-only dodgeball squad. “We allow head shots,” says team captain Jackson Young, who goes by the game name of Jack Attack. “Head shots are not only encouraged, they’re celebrated.” As the only Chicago dodgeball team that’s part of the National College Dodgeball Association, DePaul’s ballers annually travel to the national championship to battle other Midwestern schools. “Our attitude is somewhere in between superserious and jokey,” Young says, which is indicative of why they place low in the tourney. For newcomers, initiation includes picking up the tab on a postgame meal at the school’s Lincoln Park campus student center, paid for by the freshman. “But,” Young reasons, “they have those cushy meal plans. I’m a poor senior.”
Ball up Mondays and Thursdays, 9:30–11:15pm at Ray Meyer Fitness and Recreation Center (2235 N Sheffield Ave, 773-325-4555). Free.

Chicago Dodgeball Brigade
One of the biggest drawbacks for dodgeball newbies is the pain factor; simply put, those furiously launched rubber orbs hurt. Luckily, this kinder, gentler indoor league plays with “no-sting,” foam-cored balls. Recent Los Angeles transplant Kim Nguyen cofounded the group with her boyfriend, Seth Dickens, and says the less-intimidating projectiles tend to draw more female ballers to Brigade games, a refreshing change from the usual male-dominated games. If you still manage to sustain an injury, you can always do some postgame wound-licking when regulars go out for drinks, tacos or ice cream.
Ball up Wednesdays, 7pm at Holstein Park (2200 N Oakley Ave, 312-742-7554). $5.

Aberdeen Street Dodgeball Ninjas
Currently ranked 32nd in the National Dodgeball League amateur bracket, the tight-knit Ninjas are known less for competitiveness than for graciousness: If a hurler hits an opponent anywhere in the head, the game stops until the offender gives the victim a hug. “We like to keep it civil,” says Andrew “Dookie” Vilaythong, who cofounded the group in 2004. Initially composed of college students from UIC and DePaul, members now commute from the suburbs to go balls-out, Vilaythong says. “On an okay night, we’ll have 20 on 20,” he says. “Once we had 50 on 50—that was the craziest night ever!” The best of the Ninjas travel cross-country to attend tournaments—including the Dodgeball World Championships held annually in Las Vegas—and on August 15, the group will host its own blowout battle.
Ball up Tuesdays and Thursdays, 9pm at Sheridan Park (910 S Aberdeen St, 312-746-5370). Join the Ninjas’ weather update list by texting “join ninja_dball” to 8762. Free.